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My problem began when I was driving down the road in our 2005 Dodge Caravan, packed full of our own kids and kids from the neighborhood. My elderly and ... let us call her "severe" mother was asleep in the front passenger seat when one of the neighborhood kids -- now a hero among his peers -- excreted certain organic gases, which announced themselves with a remarkably acute "crrrrraaaack." My severe, elderly and not very well-liked (by the kids) mother startled awake in her seat and said, "What?" Mom now refuses to get back into the vehicle, claiming, "That awful thing is still loose in there." This is a problem, since she likes to attend each and every yard sale within 50 miles and is even more unpleasant if she is denied that pleasure. What I need is an authoritative statement on whether it's possible that the "awful thing is still loose" in the vehicle. Exactly how long is it justified for people to avoid a vehicle interior after such an incident? She thinks we need to get a new car! -- Distraught Daughter in a Dodge

RAY: Gee, Distraught Daughter -- we'll call you D.D. -- I think this is largely psychological on Mom's part. She just doesn't want to ride with those little brats anymore.

TOM: I agree. I mean, even if that "awful thing" was a magnitude nine or 10 on the WindBreak Scale, it would still dissipate in a matter of minutes. Certainly within an hour.

RAY: I take it she hasn't refused to enter your living room, where your husband, no doubt, watches TV from the same spot on the sofa night after night and has his way with that poor foam cushion.

TOM: Cars have ventilation systems to bring fresh air into the passenger compartment. So, air is always circulating. And even with the vents off, cars are not airtight. If you put a car in water, it will sink. So it's nearly impossible for that particular collection of nitrogen, hydrogen, methane and hydrogen sulfide to still be inside your vehicle.

RAY: Unless, of course, it was more than just "wind" this kid released. But let's not go there.

TOM: It's also possible that Mom is smelling something else. You could have mold spores in your air-conditioning ducts, or one of those little brats could have spilled some milk and not told you about it. So you might want to ask an impartial nasal observer (call the Nasal Observatory) to take a ride with you and offer an honest opinion.

RAY: But even if you get a clean bill of smell, for the sake of family unity, I'd have the car detailed, D.D. That'll cost you about $100, but it includes a very thorough cleaning of the inside of the car. Tell them you want the seats and carpets shampooed, and ask them to use a "heavy hand" with the pine-tree air freshener. That way, Mom will know immediately that something has been done.

TOM: Then tell her you've had the car fumigated and you've called the kid's mother and had his diet changed, and that if she's willing to ride shotgun again, you'll take her to a yard sale nearby with lots of military surplus items, including gas masks. Good luck.

Dear Tom and Ray:

The other day, I went to purchase two tires for my Dodge Intrepid. I wanted to replace the front pair and move my old front tires to the back. That way, I'd get good tread for the snow in the winter. The local tire store told me that due to insurance regulations, when a customer buys just one pair of tires, they MUST go on the rear. They say the tire manufacturers advise the same thing. I argued back at him, and said that because my car is front-wheel-drive, I need good tread on the front tires more than on the rear. "Well," he replied, "then you'll have to buy four new tires." Is this true? I think he just wants to sell me four tires instead of two. -- Chester

RAY: Tire manufacturers and safety people now recommend that your "better" set of tires go on the back, even if you have a front-wheel-drive car. Putting tires with brand-new tread on the front certainly would help you get started in the snow. But having worn-out tires on the rear could cause the rear end to slide out when you try to turn or stop.

TOM: And since you can steer the front wheels, you have a better chance of maintaining control of the car if the front wheels slide than if the rear wheels slide. Once the back end starts to slide, it's a lot harder to control the car, and an accident is often the result.

RAY: Of course, having four good tires is best. But my guess is that this policy came from the tire companies' legal departments, not their sales departments.

(c) 2009 by Tom and Ray Magliozzi

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